Funny:ways to get your belly filled up in Nigeria Campus if you are too Lazy to cook.lol

I just came across this possible ways to get your stomach filled up in the Nigeria Campuses If you cant strike matches to cook on your own.Laughters

Skimming through the topic, most
probably what flashes through your mind is “How
is that possible”, Of course it is very possible if
you know how to manipulate your ways, but get
ready to succumb to one, more or all of
the following conditions -

Get Ready To Spend - Since you are feeling
somehow too huge to lift a pot and strike a
matchbox, get ready to stroll into the abode of
mama put and spray some cash to get some
stuffs into your ever-worried belly. This is not an
easy task though, imagine you eating three times
with a purchasing
power, calculating it at a rate of #200 per meal if
you are not a glutton affiliate, summing up to
#600 per day,
invariably #4,200 per week and an aggressive
aggregate of #16,800 in a month!! COME! Grab a
seat and sit next to me, how much is Nigeria’s
minimum wage??Leave that aside, how much
does it cost to set up a pure water factory
somewhere at the backyard of this street??
Imagine you saving that sum for a couple of
months, my guy you are already a business man.
Ruminate on that. Shoutouts to those guys that
do the cooking, not all of you do not have the
money to spend but it’s cool to plan your future
right from time.

Get Ready To Beg - You know blue
blood is not running through your vein and you
don’t want that pot to leave a black spot on your
skin?? Then let me
give you some tactics on how to
survive without doing the cooking,by begging. Go
to Youtube and download
a couple of Basketmouth comedy
videos, cram as many as possible, this might take
you days to do so. Wake up and scout the person
that is cooking out, walk up to him and give him
a friendly handshake while you shout ”
My Surest Dude! How Your Night Na”, avoid the
usage of pure English so it won’t sound like you
are forming phonetics, do not leave the guy’s
hand
after the handshake though, keep
shaking him like he just won golden boot and you
are to present it to him,
then sharply look around for a
circumstance that will befit one of the jokes in
your head, throw the joke in the air and laugh
hysterically as you
crack it, remember, laughter at times stimulates
laughter… The condition is straight, if you are a
dry comedian, you cracked it at the wrong time,
or your joke doesn’t seem funny , then you
need another means of getting food.
Else, he laughs and probably other
roommates join in the process, I must say “You
don hammer!”, just sit back and wait for the food
to get done, then echo the statement “Guy I dey
chop o”,
you have a 70% chance of eating part of the food.
Just note that this tactics wont last you more
than five times before they get to know the kind
of human being you are.
But why should you go through the whole long
process of If’s and Else’s like you are writing
python syntax, just
for something as simple as “Eating”, it will soil
your dignity for sure and very soon they will start
insulting you with
the punchline, they might even
compose personal anthem for you, depending on
the category of roomies you have in your
possession.
So, get off your high horse, head to the market,
get some food stuffs andCOOK!!!

Get A Rich Girlfriend - Laughter flows through my
pen as I hold it tightly and script down this point.
It has no guarantee, but just in case, it must be
mentioned but no details. When a typical girl
nowadays won’t follow you
for a stroll if you don’t get her
something like suya to mix her saliva, then you
will need to offer her the heart of Mother Theresa
before you make your own offer of “Cook For Me”.
She will definitely have to love you, and if you are
not loveable, then this option is not meant for
you, scroll to the next.
This will definitely affect your dignity as well and
it will hardly last long as someone close to the
girl will one day mention “This your boyfriend is
broke
sha o, na everytime e dey chop 4 here“.

Oooops! That’s not the best idea, if you already
have this mentality then clear it off your mind,
it’s abusive and you might definitely got your reputation tarnished. Moreover if you cant afford buying food at mama-put, then you should afford cooking it your self...











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